CHRISTMAS AT KJERSTI AND HER SONS

Nov 15, 2023Kjersti Lamb

Christmas at Kjersti and her sons' house

It's November 1st and Christmas is in full swing at Kjersti and her two boys Andrew(21) and Reidar(19).

Christmas is already here, many people think. There are many opinions about this very thing : When is it okay to decorate for Christmas? There are quite a few self-proclaimed Christmas decoration police out there, and the topic engages many.

When I was going to hang our pink poinsettia in the window, visible to all the neighbors, I said to my son - I think we should wait to hang this star until December, so no one will see that we have already decorated for Christmas. My son replied: "Mom, isn't it nice that people can see that we are a happy family who likes to decorate for Christmas?"


We're decorating early. Enough talking!

My two boys love it when our house is decorated for Christmas. It creates such an extra good atmosphere in the home with all the lights that brighten up the dark time. Every year we start a little earlier, and every year I feel a little ashamed. I love the good atmosphere the lights and decorations give - so with shame I pull out the Christmas decorations early in November and concentrate on the most important thing in life - the memories and joys we create together as a family by enjoying Christmas a little longer.


I don't like Christmas!

Here comes the big contrast - I don't like Christmas! How is that possible when I already decorate in November?


My childhood Christmas memories come with baggage and difficult emotions. Carrying baggage and painful memories from Christmas can be challenging for many. Christmas is often associated with joy, togetherness and love, but for some it can also trigger painful memories and emotions. When Christmas Eve and Christmas Day are here, I have unrest and painful emotions in my body. I grew up with a mother who struggled with her life, and Christmas time was usually a holiday with a lot of arguing that ended with my mother leaving on Christmas Day and being gone until after New Year's. There were no exceptions, it happened every Christmas. Expectations and joy were crushed by anger, by a mother who did not have the tools to deal with her own feelings and vulnerability. I love my mother - even though she was not always a good mother.

She did the best she could and didn't know any better. Unfortunately I don't have a mom on this earth anymore. Mom died of cancer 12 years ago and I miss my mom a lot.

It is important to understand that everyone has different experiences of Christmas, and it is okay to feel sadness or pain during an otherwise festive time. Acknowledging and accepting your own feelings can be the first step towards dealing with the baggage and finding meaning and joy again around Christmas time.

Creating new traditions, changing perspectives, and finding ways to honor memories can be part of the healing process.


Christmas is best in November

That's why Christmas starts at the beginning of November in our house. I've found that if Christmas starts early, the bad feelings haven't crept into my body yet. I get the feeling ahead of time! I've created a way to enjoy Christmas that works for me and for my boys. My boys don't have bad feelings and thoughts about Christmas. They just have the joy of having an extra long Christmas and they love it. If it were up to them, Christmas would have started in October. Creating good memories as a mom is a unique and rewarding experience. When I, as a mom, take the time to create Christmas for my boys early in November, it not only creates a positive atmosphere, but it also lays the foundation for lasting, meaningful memories. These memories become like a treasure trove that the boys take with them into adulthood, and they can be a source of comfort, support and inspiration in various life situations. Being a mom who actively participates in creating positive memories around Christmas is a valuable and meaningful thing for me, since I myself was robbed of the good feeling around Christmas as a child. I am happy that I have contributed to my children feeling good, expectant feelings about Christmas.

Maybe we can all judge and think a little less about each other's Christmas traditions. Let everyone start decorating, baking and lighting the outdoor lights for Christmas whenever they want. We don't need to sneak in a little negative comment about "gee so early". We don't know each other's history and baggage for the choices we make. With these words, I invite you to see how we decorate for Christmas at our place and wish you a blessed and happy pre-Christmas season, already now.

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